Friday, February 12, 2010

The Worst Moment Yet as a Parent

It began so innocently. Dan took the day off to get his car worked on so we all met up with his sister at Five Mile Pizza to let the kids run and play. What fun! Then it happened. Katie started crawling up the stairs to the ball pit. I ran and caught her in plenty of time. Feeling fun, I started her low on the ground and with great acceleration took her to the sky for some flying time. Except something else got in the way. Joshua's head. He had snuck up behind me and right when I turned with Katie at full speed, their heads connected. Even now, 7 hours later, I can still hear that thunk. I can still feel the reverberations that went through Katie's body. It was the most alarming sound ever. Joshua was immediately on the ground crying. I put Katie to my chest and ran outside with her in the rain thinking the rain would soothe her (and I needed to be outside if I was going to burst into tears). Luckily Katie only cried for a few minutes and I held it together, but it was so scary. She was happy minutes later and crawled around. I was alarmed enough to call not only our pediatrician, but also my brother AND his wife to get advice. (*Joshua, by the way, totally 100% fine by now). They said to not let her sleep. They said the #1 sign of head trauma is excessive sleepiness and crankiness. Unfortunately Katie is down to one nap a day (she does this every few days and happened to be on that schedule today). So I was told to make her skip ALL naps and watch for crankiness? Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Luckily she only slept for 30 minutes instead of her usual long nap, and was fine until she crashed for bedtime. I called my brother again this evening to describe the bruises appearing on her forehead (all normal he assures me).

It would appear for now that everything is fine. I think I will probably freak out for days to come and keep watching both kids. It was the single most horrible moment since having all four kids. I cannot describe the sound of their heads connecting or the horror felt at that moment.

I sign off now knowing that tomorrow must be better, as I can't feel any more guilty than this. :(


The Butterfields said...

I can still hear the thunk when Emma's head hit the concrete when she got her concussion last summer. Scariest time ever. Just be so glad she stayed conscious and alert!
The also told me to really watch to make sure there were no repeat bumps for a week or two. Easier said than done, but Ems wore her bike helmet for awhile. :)

Kim said...

Poor Amber! That sounds horrible! No pun intended. :( Just remind yourself as many times as you need to that 1. you were having fun with your kids and 2. this is really not your fault. There isn't anything that you could have done differently or better without being able to see into the future and that's just unrealistic! :) I hope you get rid of that sound playing over and over in your head and soon!

Juli said...

How scary! I know exactly the sound that you are talking about. I think whenever something scary like that happens it's hard to shake it off for anyone. Sophia was running through our bedroom and tripped on the carpet and bam headfirst right into the corner of the dresser! It scared me to death. I raced her to the kitchen and put ice packs on it, as I was shaking, then I looked and there was this enormous bump on her forehead. She ended up being fine, but those were a scary few minutes. Then until it was completely gone I would just feel terrible every time I saw it even though there was nothing I could've done to prevent it.

I glad everything turned out good and nobody was seriously hurt.

Jolene said...

Sorry Amber. :( Reminds me of when little Amber was walking in the parking lot with me, tripped, and whacked her forehead on the concrete. The sound was horrible.

OH, and my brother had a really bad one: He had his newborn daughter in her carseat on the cement garage floor. He picked her up and the handle came loose (apparently he hadn't strapped her in yet?) and she flew out and hit the ground. They kept checking her pupils, etc, yikes!! But she was ok, and I'm sure your kiddos will be too.

Kari Johansen said...

Friday was also my single worst mommy moment. I will tell you in person. Too horrible for me to write here and I haven't decided whether to blog it or not.

Eve Suhling said...

I have been there too with Ruby, it is so hard. Sorry to hear that this happened Amber, glad that she is okay!