Thursday, November 18, 2010

Another Chapter Comes to an End

And another chapter of our lives comes to an end. Our journey of infertility is officially over (except for baby payments, those still have 2 more years).

When we did our second round of In-Vitro Fertilization, we were blessed with 6 fertilized eggs, embryos. 2 became Thomas and Joshua, the rest were frozen. 3-ish years later, two more were thawed and Katie and Molly were born. Dan and I then had a huge decision in front of us. What to do with the remaining embryos (in my mind...babies)? We could a) adopt them out or b) expand our family. We were more than certain that our family was complete. That left the adoption route.

It seemed an easy option. Give the babies a home that had yearned for children the way we yearned for children. Dan and I struggled with how to go about this option. God blessed us and sent us a messenger. A friend from high school had some friends (her children's Godparents) that had struggled through infertility like us. I broached the subject of us donating our embryos to them. It was a great match! We went through my friend and did all the necessary paperwork, etc.

Now, while we were totally and completely done with our family. And this decision was by far the right one, it was still difficult. Signing the adoption papers, signing away our rights, writing down all our likes/dislikes/traits/ was hard! There were some very hard moments of praying and knowing that we were making the right decision.

After several months of paperwork and discussion, the time has come that the embryos were hers. We received news this week that the embryos did not survive thawing. While this news is sad for us and we work our way through that, we are devastated for the adopting family. We know that feeling (our first cycle ever was a loss). They DID have backup embryos just in case, so there is still hope. But, at this point, our prayers go out to that family as those embryos were in fact, their babies too.

So, we end this chapter of our lives. We end the journey of infertilty. With our heads held high. We have four beautiful children. And we made our attempt to help someone else build a beautiful family. God has been good to us and we couldn't feel more blessed. And I can easily say GOOD-BYE to that chapter and hello to the idea of raising these wonderful children.


Holly said...

What a touching story to share. I can only imagine the lessons God has shown you through your whole journey and what an honor it is to think about blessing another family with children. That is so admirable!

Carissalayla said...

Amber, you have a beautiful family!